Pause & Reflect

BY KIRAN KHANIJOW

While watching the highly- anticipated cartoon Inside Out 2 (2024), which insightfully dove deep into the complexities of the teenage mind and emotions, I secretly wished that the third part would be all about the ins and outs of menopausal woman. Toddler tantrums and teenage mood swings are common topics, but have you ever seen a movie that openly portrayed a woman’s menopausal symptoms, such as hot ashes or brain fog?

Menopause, especially in more traditional Asian cultures, is stigmatised; a taboo topic tied to ageing, another taboo – after all, as advertising and media constantly tell us, women aren’t suppose to get older. The middle aged woman plagued by weight gain and mood swings is ‘embarrassing’. Fortunately, with changing times, menopause is being spoken about more openly. Masala spoke to a few women in the community about how they feel about going through this phase, and what they do to keep t in all areas – physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

SAVNEET SINGHSATHISUKH, 48

I’m almost 48, and have been experiencing menopause for about 3-4 years. Initially, there were signs that I ignored. Busy with life and the urge to enjoy the years after 40, I failed to recognise the signs until they affected me. My menstrual cycle changed abruptly, and I learned that I was lacking vitamin D. At one time, I bled with unbearable abdominal pain, which led to panic; and another time, I got my period 15 days later, which led to confusion.

Each body is different, and needs different solutions. Mine retains sanity with exercise, liquids, and vitamins. Over the years, I’ve come to terms with my body type – although I do still complain about it! I guess it’s human nature. Even though I work out and am happy to buy new clothes, there’s not much else I can do about it. There are some women around me that are luckier, and I admire them. Maybe they began an exercise routine earlier in life and are reaping the bene ts now. There are so many women above 45 that look amazing!

Sadly, our mums and grandmums were quite unaware about this phase of life growing up, and many didn’t understand the importance of exercise and taking some supplements. Thankfully, there is more awareness today. This is why I believe it’s vital to share what you’re experiencing with your spouse and children. They need to be aware so that they can support you mentally. It’s also important to talk about this with other women so you know that you’re not alone.

NITA GULATI, 52
Owner, Event Promotor, and Coordinator; Panache Events Dance Choreographer
Bollywood Fitness Trainer

My mantra when it comes to menopause is, “Acknowledge and accept when and as it comes, it’s inevitable! There’s peace in doing the needful and enjoying the ow and surprises. It’s only a phase; it shall pass.” I have to make a conscious choice: either I go through menopause gracefully, or I suffer, so why not opt for the former? It really helps that my peers are going through similar symptoms. We share our discomforts openly, such as hormonal imbalances and physical transitions, as we’re all sailing on the same boat. Nevertheless, symptoms such as weight gain can be really depressing, especially when I can’t t into my clothes. These changes demand a change in lifestyle; in the food I eat and the type of workouts I do. I also keep my cortisol in check by incorporating more yoga and meditation.

I do miss my youthful ‘curves,’ and wish I celebrated them enough when I was younger, but the maturity I have today makes me embrace my reality with grace, and the understanding that the more I amplify the symptoms, the more intense they get. Thus, I only address what needs to be taken care of. This is part of the process, and unlike our mothers, we are privileged to have awareness through education and the internet. These discussions were taboo in their times. On the other hand, ignorance is bliss; the lesser you know, the lesser you stress! It’s a blessing to be a woman, and menopause is a small price to pay. It unites all of us who go through it. Occasionally, I whine and complain, but on better days I smile and say, “It’s only a part of my journey!”

KIRAN SINGHSACHAKUL, 53
Self-Employed

I’ve just officially entered the menopausal state, and I now experience hot ashes occasionally. Thankfully, they do not affect me as much, although I have made changes to my lifestyle choices. I’ve removed all nylon clothing and wear breathable fabrics like cotton and linen, especially at night, which I’ve found to be helpful. I’ve always been active, and I continue to work out at least ve days a week. However, adjustments are necessary. Along with weight training, I’ve added yoga and Pilates to my routine. I’m also a rm believer in eating right. Even though some supplements are necessary, each person is genetically unique, and it’s important to discover what’s right for you Thankfully, exercising regularly also allows me to sleep well, so I don’t have insomnia like most of my peers who are going through this phase.

Many of us going through this transitional stage did not pay much attention to how our mothers dealt with it. I never had this conversation with my mother, probably because I was busy raising children then. Women today are more aware of physical and emotional changes, and are much better prepared to handle whatever comes. It’s basic human nature to aspire for more, not realising that what we had was enough. It’s imperative to realise that now is the best body you’ll ever have, and to be grateful for it. As I get older, it’s also hit me that the only time I have is now, and I try to make the most of it. In my youth, I took my body for granted; I ate what I wanted, without worrying about calories. Now, I recognise that it’s not how you look that matters, it’s how you feel within. My mother was always aware of what she ate and exercised regularly, and my father, who is approaching 80, is still disciplined about his daily exercises and does not believe that there is anything that he can’t do. That’s the attitude I aspire to have throughout my life, through this stage and beyond.

SOPHA SINGHSACHA, 53
Entrepreneur and Homemaker

Menopause is probably the most complex and least understood phase in a woman’s life. Common symptoms include hot ashes and abnormal menstrual cycles. For me, the excessive bleeding each month led to severe anaemia. Many around me were going through similar problems, each adopting different solutions. I chose to take birth control hormones, followed by progesterone injections every three months. While it felt like a miracle cure, the weight gain was still inevitable. The not-so-obvious symptoms included muscle loss, osteoporosis, frozen shoulders, and much more. However, I’ve discovered that some supplements such as vitamin C, D and omega 3 helped slow down the aging process for me.

Our mothers faced the same issues but never linked their problems to menopause – rather, they attributed them to aging. Supplements were taken much later in life, so while that helped to limit damage, it wasn’t enough to prevent issues. A major problem in their time was a lack of information and communication. Today, we have access to online information, support groups, and medical experts. We can also talk openly to each other comparing notes and getting help when needed. And, I’m sure, the next generation will definitely do better than us, as some form of physical exercise is now a part of most people’s routines, and even outside of school routines, today’s youth tends to give a lot of importance to physical activity.

Over the years, there have been major differences in how we see ourselves. When we’re young, we focus on every little aw, judge ourselves, and are scared of being judged too. Social media exaggerates this to another level. Yet with time, priorities change. While we still strive to look good daily, the focus on health now predominates. We gain a level of confidence and an, “I don’t give a damn” attitude, and I find that very liberating.