Sumati Huber on how the service quality in Bangkok pushes her buttons.

Some of us are lucky enough to have parents that pay our phone bill and fund our expenses, or family businesses that we can seamlessly join to financially support our dependence on fancy lattes. However,
for the rest of the population, seeking out a job is imperative to live. And perhaps because so many
people need to work, Bangkok has come up with its own strange employment systems that do nothing to
streamline efficiency.

Take for example the many parking lots in Bangkok that have now moved to automatic ticket systems.
Theoretically the driver of the car pulls up to a machine, presses a button, and receives a ticket. Seems effortless, right? Except Bangkok decided they needed to employ a human attendant to press the button for said driver and hand them the ticket.

What would that job ad even sound like? “Seeking employee with dexterous hands and agile fingers. Ability
to push buttons is a must.” Of course, this job does come in handy when you’ve underestimated how close you
got to the ticket machine, and now you can’t reach the button from the car window. God forbid you will have
to open your car door and stretch out uncomfortably with your seat belt tugging at you. In these moments,
we must say thank you for the service of these button pushers, they are the true heroes of parking lots.

Not so heroic is when you’ve reached your destination and are left wondering what is going on. Say you are at the supermarket and you see multiple employees stocking goods on the shelves. You ask where you can find the toilet paper, and suddenly there is a frenzy of 10 other employees to help. Now you have a swarm of staff around you, frantically checking records, calling someone on the phone, and running around. Finally, one of the staff will say, “We don’t sell toilet paper here,” because they don’t actually know where it is. You get fed up and roam the aisles to end up finding it yourself.

Even though there are many staff milling about the supermarket (but are not always trained to answer simple questions about the products they carry), there never seems to be more than one cashier on duty.
This lone register is forced to handle a long line of customers, slowing down your ability to get home and put the milk in the fridge before it goes bad. Wouldn’t it be more productive to open up jobs for cashiers, or at least ensure more than one person is working at the same time? The worst is when there is another cashier at their station, but they leave their closed sign up for too long while they take their time sorting out change and small bills.

Maybe that’s why some stores have implemented self-checkout aisles, which according to its descriptive
name, would imply that you scan and bag your own items. Except there’s usually an employee on standby
to do the checkout for you when the machine inevitably malfunctions or hi-so customers balk at the idea of
having to do the work themselves.

At department stores, the staff responsible for manning the specific counter you need always seem to be missing, so you are obligated to ask the closest employee about a product they know nothing about. What was that job interview like?

“Why are you qualified for this position?”
“Well, I’m good at standing for maybe 15 minutes at a time, but I’m looking forward to lots of bathroom breaks, and stepping out to buy khanom every hour, so this seems like the perfect fit for me.”
“Great, you’re hired!”

The same applies at restaurants which often have numerous waiters standing around. Since none of the
serving staff have designated tables that they attend, the customer is required to wave their hand and hope
someone in the vicinity catches their eye. And they still have to wait 20 minutes for a menu or glass of
water. Wouldn’t it be more efficient for waiters to have specific areas they serve, rather than running around
directionless and freaking out when you ask them to make a dish vegetarian?

Sometimes (well, always when it rains) you have to call your internet or TV provider to check why your technology is not working. After waiting for ages listening to an automated menu, finally a human representative answers the phone. You tell them that you already tried switching off and resetting
the device upon which they will tell you, “Please try restarting the device.” When you repeat that you have
already tried and it didn’t work, they put you on hold forever and transfer you to another person who asks,
“Have you tried restarting the system?” Then they will offer to upgrade your package for a few extra baht a
month, without solving the problem.

We do love Bangkok for all the conveniences it offers, but the quality of service can really push our buttons. And there are a whole lot of people hired to do that.

An unreformed party girl and mother of two, writer, editor and observer Sumati Huber tries to make sense of our unique Thai-Indian society and the aunties that she will one day become.