This New Year, Dolly Koghar is turning over a new leaf.

Someone once asked a fakir which is the best day to celebrate, and the ascetic’s reply was, “the day before you die.” That’s to say that since any day, any minute, could be our very last, every day should be lived as a celebration, joyfully and in gratitude. But then there’s me, standing straight and tall at the dawn of yet another year and instead of being grateful, I catch myself wishing for a better year than ever, as if to say the past seventy-one years have left me wanting. It’s not that I don’t acknowledge or appreciate all that life has given me, for which I am extremely thankful, but as is writ in my DNA, I manage to find flaws in everybody, everything and in every situation. I swim upstream against the way things are, so it goes without saying that this constant internal conflict robs me of peace with myself and keeps me in a state of discontent, which is the exact opposite of gratitude.  

Melody Beattie says, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.” So, with one more year behind me, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that even in ten more lifetimes, things and people are never going to go my way. So now, I’ll use the opposite tactic and consciously fake gratitude for people and situations, however and whatever they may be, and hopefully one day, it’ll become my second nature. By adopting an attitude of gratitude, I just might become more surefooted and happier. Then, rather than living dejectedly in a state of lack, I’ll operate from a state of sheer abundance, boosting my faith and confidence and nullifying the gripping fear of losing and falling, which has paralysed me from really doing something or anything worthwhile, or living life at its fullest. I’ll also stop taking myself and my life so seriously, and understand that everything that happens, the good, the bad, and the ugly, serves a purpose that is beyond my limited comprehension. 

I also definitely need to let go of the ridiculous pursuit of perfection, which is an impossibility in and of itself, whether in myself, in others, or in the situations I find myself in. I need to learn to give some slack because never ever is everything going to be ‘just right’. It’ll rain on the wrong days, and the air conditioner will conk out the day of the party, people will behave the way they do, and situations will change abruptly, none of which I have control over. The only thing I can and do have some control over, is my emotions and how I react to the given circumstances. So, to finally free myself to experience unalloyed joy, which is never dependent on anything outside of the self, all I need to do is acknowledge and accept things as they are, and not as I want them to be. Rather than being bogged down and freezing when situations arise, like I usually do; with my converted perspective, I’ll be able to ride over any problem and adversary, even those that, at first, looked bleak and insurmountable.

Nevertheless, I’ll always remain short of true gratitude, which is a state of acknowledgment and appreciation for what already exists, whether that’s less or more, and not what I’d expect or hope for. It’s looking at circumstances, however harsh and difficult, without bias or judgement; and realising that whatever is, is what it is supposed to be; and whatever comes and goes, is also as it should be.

So, although each of us are less significant than even a speck of dust in the vastness of this universe, but if we each can makepeace with how things are, outside and within ourselves; and accept and acknowledge our differences and the changeable and fickle nature of events, it’d be the end of strife and conflict, and our planet will finally reverberate vibrations of positivity, contentment and joy outward and beyond our own Milky Way.