From maternal anxiety to learning to let go, Aunty D has you covered.

MUM-BELIEVABLY ANXIOUS

Dear Aunty D,

I’m a single mother with two sons, and I’ve spent the past eighteen years of my life taking care of my children and giving them everything I possibly could. My eldest son graduated from the IB earlier this year, and is now all set to go off to university abroad in September. While I really want him to go and build his future, I’m really worried about how I will live without him. On some days, I feel anxious to the extent that I feel like withdrawing his application and convincing him to stay in the country. What do I do?

Dear Mum-believably Anxious,

Holding him back would only undo the sacrifice you have made to gear him for the life waiting for him in the big, wide world out there. It’s time to cut lose the apron strings and to sit back and proudly watch him take to the skies towards a life of his own. Pat yourself on the back for a completed job and relish the time you now have to reconnect and pamper your neglected inner self. Pick up the dreams and aspirations that you had put aside long ago for the sake of bringing up the children, and pursue them with fervour, whether it be a passion, a hobby, or a job.

LETTING GO

Dear Aunty D,

My husband and I have been living by ourselves since our only son moved out of the house fifteen years ago. We have led a beautiful life together, and he has been the only man I have ever depended on. Even though ours was an arranged marriage, we have been the most important parts of each other’s life for over 38 years. Unfortunately, my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last year and is now showing signs of forgetfulness. Seeing him in this state is deeply disturbing for me. My days are filled with fear for the day when he will not even recognise my face. I feel scared that my worries will interfere with my ability to take good care of him, now that he needs me most. Please tell me how to cope with this.

Dear Letting Go,

You are amongst the fortunate few to have found both love and friendship in your husband. Rather than awaiting the impending decline, please create new memories surrounded by people who care, and love and support both of you. Also, before the inevitable time comes when he no longer recognises you, relive and revive the good ‘ol memories of the past by visiting places you once enjoyed together. More importantly, as difficult as it will be, please try and keep the connection alive: keep up a conversation whether he seems to understand or reacts to what you say or not; keep talking as you did when he was lucid.

CONSCIOUS AND BORED!

Dear Aunty D,

I am a simple man in my mid-thirties. I have been single for a couple of years now and while I was happy taking a break from the dating world all this while, it will be good to be back in the game. The problem is that when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel bored with my own looks. I have considered a couple of make-over options for my wardrobe and my hair, but somehow, I am unable to muster the courage to take the leap. I really want to feel attractive. Where do I start?

Dear Conscious and Bored!,

Whether you get back into the dating game or whether you eventually find a partner or not, is inconsequential. You are doing it for you, and you, alone; it’s a great perk-me-up to see a well-groomed persona reflected back from the mirror, and a big boost for one’s self-confidence which will automatically add a few inches to how you walk and talk. So, jump into a make-over the soonest, especially your perspective of yourself as being a boring and an uninteresting person. We each have our weaknesses and strengths, so tap into the positives in yourself and reflect those qualities outwards and enjoy being whoever you are.

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