Dads share how they connect with their kids at every stage.
BY NINA PHICHITSINGH
Recently came across a quote that said fathers spend three times as much time with their children than they did 50 years ago. Times have really changed, and fathers do partake in many more activities with their children. I was inspired to compose this piece because my husband, a true workaholic, has really stepped up since the day my daughter was born. I often hear him say ‘no’ to plans or meetings that were an immediate ‘yes’ to be able to carve out time for our daughter.
He’s comfortable to take her to the park himself and put her to sleep when I am too exhausted. He may not be able to change her diapers outstandingly or partake in her potty training as a full-time working man, but he plans activities and events for her with her development in mind (striking a balance of creativity, exercise and new-found fascinations for her); from seeing art installations at Studio Ghibli’s exhibitions, to learning about penguins at Sea Life, and of course blissful play at the park. Their father-daughter bond is strong and full of affection and adoration. Sometimes, I can even hear him on his work call at 2am with his overseas clients discussing the best books to read to their toddlers or trading high chair recommendations!
We can attest that fathers play a crucial role in their children’s development and upbringing. To honour all fathers in this men’s issue, I talk to four working fathers about their most special moments with their children.
NAVATHEP SACHDEV
Financial Advisor
Father to Kyara (3 years old) and Ava (8 months old)
In the hustle of daily life, finding time for family takes effort. But because of my love for them, I make it a point to spend quality time with my daughters, Kyara and Ava. I try my best to make this journey simple but meaningful every time as I try to balance the demands of work and family while creating precious moments.
For me, I first try to understand what my daughters need and enjoy, and the answer is very simple: my full, attentive, childish side. I become the storyteller, telling them stories of my beautiful childhood experiences and the fairytales that every child is eager to hear, sometimes with the help of imaginative storybooks. We would do this everyday, on the way to school, before going to bed, and sometimes in our free time.
I encourage my daughters to be outdoors, playing in the garden and to be close to the nature. I believe it is by far the best way for our children learn how to stay simple, humble, and care for things that are out of their personal space. I love it when I see my Kyara running around full of energy with a big smile on her face, while Ava just smiles so bright with her curious eyes trying to observe everything while being in my arms.
Mealtime is a wonderful time for me as I love cooking for each member of my family, but cooking for my own children is another level of joy. Kyara loves eating food off my plate and everytime she sees me cook, she will run to help me. We often cook meals and sometime try baking together, even though it never turns out as we pictured! We have a good laugh and enjoy ourselves everytime. These simple moments teach not just cooking skills but also the importance of being together, communicating and organisation.
Towards the end of the day, after cartoon time, bedtime approaches. I go up with Kyara and put her to sleep. Most of the time, I will tell her a story, but sometimes we listen to calming music and she will fall asleep beside me. After putting Kyara to sleep, I come down to check to see if Ava is sound asleep. I usually sleep beside my younger daughter whenever her nanny is on holiday. However, changing diapers, making her milk, feeding her, and putting her back to sleep is difficult but I try my best to enjoy it because it is my connection with little Ava.
In the journey of being a dad, spending quality time with my three- and one-year-old daughters is a labour of love. Each shared moment, whether regular or extraordinary, weaves a story of family bonds and creates a foundation for a lifetime of cherished memories.
KARANVIR THAKRAL
Businessman
Father to Suhavni (8 years old) and Shaan (4 years old)
Dad life for me revolves around my two sweet and adventurous kids – Suhavni and Shaan. I’d say the most important thing about bonding with them is less about orchestrating grand activities, and more about embracing the small moments of simply being there.
I don’t get much time with them during the weekdays so when they go to school, I’m happy to kick off the day with their drop-offs. It’s a golden opportunity for conversations with these curious minds, fuelled by funny questions that never fail to bring a smile to my face.
Bedtime is also fun when I get the chance to dive into storyland with their favorite books – you know, the ones you read with questionable accents and epic character voices. The perfect way to end the day before they have to wind down and go to sleep. Suhavni’s favourite book is The Book With No Pictures by B.J. Novak. Shaan’s favourite book is Dr Seuss’s ABC.
Sundays are their favourite. It’s “family day,” where everything else takes a backseat. We have a routine which usually includes going to the Gurudwara, followed by spending time with grandparents/family. I try to get outdoor time, ending the evening in a park, or with dinner at their favourite restaurant.
Occasionally, we’ll do something adventurous on the weekends like exploring new places or going to the beach. They love joining me on my café-hopping adventures where they get to slurp on milkshakes, and enjoy ice cream like it’s the elixir of life. I try not to spill my coffee while keeping up with their sugar-fuelled energy!
I don’t think kids need a lot of scheduled activities at this age. They just need our uninterrupted time, which we all wish we could give more of, before they grow even older. I do the things they love with them whenever possible: playing a ball game, going to the playground on weekends, swimming, painting, playing with Legos, or even just tag or hide and seek!
The essence is to just be there (without the phone scrolling). Play, listen, and occasionally nod like you understand the complexities of childhood drama when they begin to tease each other.
In this chaotic little world, it’s the laughter, the spilled coffee, and the simple joys often in the unplanned that make for the best memories!
NAM NARULA
Entrepreneur
Father to Kyrav (1 year)
The best day of my life was when my son Kyrav was born, and it has been a whirlwind since then. The first time I went to the doctor with him, I was sleep deprived and exhausted. I was torn when the doctor told me that in Scandinavian countries paternity leave is six months. And for good reason, he added. Babies need their fathers in spirit equally as much as their mothers. My entitled and Thai-Indian alter ego shook within my soul. My inner princely nature rose up, and I immediately realised that I had to put aside my entitlements if I am going to be a true father to this little guy. I hated the doctor for saying it, but I knew he was right and my dear wife would never let me forget it!
Today, I am very grateful for that doctor because I ended up trying my best to develop a deep bond with my little buddy. Through swimming, going to the park together, experiencing the ocean, airplane rides, weekly gym classes, wrestling, and eating together, every day has been amazing with him, and I wouldn’t change a thing. My favourite activity has to be our nighttime routine, where I get to read to him, and sometimes, he tries to read to me. Kyrav’s favourite storybook is I Love Us! A Book About Family by Luisa Uribe.
I get to experience once again my innocence and childlike wonder with him every time we are together. I thought I was a foodie until I saw my son’s love for food and got blown away completely in comparison.
He teaches me to find joy in the simplest (or the weirdest) of things, like water fountains or a fan turning on. Seeing him smile every day and enjoying life is such a blessing and a pure inspiration for me.
DALVIR SINGH
Hotelier
Father to Rehana and Suhana (both 16 years old)
and Anhad (5 years old)
Parental duties are a natural instinct when one has children. I’ve got three: twin girls and a young boy. Rehana and Suhana are 16 years old, and excelling in their final years of secondary school, doing the International Baccalaureate (IB). As a father, I wish for them to only succeed in life, from studying at the best of schools, gaining admission at the top universities, and following their passions to exciting futures ahead; they truly deserve it. A large portion of our endless discussions are ensuring that they have their mindset on progressing through life contentedly.
As for my son, Anhad (our nikka sher), he is currently full of curiosity and has endless questions that need very good, logical answers! The kids of today’s world are exposed to rapid growth, and as parents, we need to keep up. It is important that values are instilled in them and as a father, I do this by adopting a daily nightly ritual with Anhad. We both sit together for almost an hour just before bed time, for a quick recap of the day before reading a book together. Our current favourite book is 52 Hukams by Guru Gobind Singh Ji, which explains our Sikhi principles in a simplified matter that is comprehensible to children. As parents, it is our duty to explain our Sikhi way of life to our families and having the resources has made it easier. My wife Neesha and I both feel passionately about exposing our children to the right path, which is what led us to develop Creative Singhs and Kaurs to assist other parents too.
It is an exciting world out there for our kids. What they learn opens our horizons, and pushes us to learn too. At home, we always encourage healthy, open, real conversations without any filters. Just be yourself. I always remind my children that we live in a world of equality and humility. As a dad, I support them to be all-rounders. After all, our children are the world’s most valuable resource, and we should always have their backs!
